I cannot remember a time when I was happy being a girl. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a boy. I couldn’t help being jealous when my parents took me clothes shopping and I looked over in the boys’ department at all the happy boys. I wanted jeans and a plaid shirt and shirts with Transformers on them and Superman pajamas and a suit for church and trunks for swimming. IT ISN’T FAIR!!

In grade one I remember having my first crush – on a girl! I didn’t know what was wrong with me or how to ask my parents if they knew what was wrong with me. I just knew something was definitely not right.

I liked being called a tomboy because it had the word boy in it.

At least I could pick the toys I wanted to play with – guns and trucks and He-Man and Transformers and GI Joe and Super Heroes. Except for my dad’s work’s Xmas party where Santa would give me an age appropriate girl toy. My sister always got two presents from those parties cause I sure as hell wasn’t going to use an EZ Bake Oven!

I can’t even begin to describe the humiliation of having to wear a dress or a skirt or pink!

As I grew older my life became increasingly difficult . . .

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I wish I was a boy. I wish I was a boy. I remember being on my knees every night as a young child hoping that my prayers would be answered. Every morning I faced the heartbreak of waking up TRAPPED for another day in the body of a female.

This blog will describe my journey from a young child wishing for a miracle to a post op male.

I hope it will inspire and motivate those who think becoming a male is impossible.

I hope it also brings a few laughs and tears to those who share the same struggle.

Journey with me.